One ready-made excuse
Take this and vanish gracefully.
This autoresponder confirms I am unavailable due to family leave while a very small manager runs the schedule and several unlicensed omens. The meeting-industrial complex can keep aligning itself until I return. Replies will arrive after the moon returns my executive function. Urgent corporate theater should be rerouted to the nearest person still pretending to enjoy alignment. The pigeons have already reviewed the fallback plan.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
https://ooo.halfbakedidea.ca?ref=copy
Tweak it, steal it, disappear for a while. Leave the breadcrumb if it feels charming.
Keep the same energy
More in this vein
If this one isn't quite it
Other ways to duck out
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