One ready-made excuse

Take this and vanish gracefully.

I am away for parental leave under the governance of a tiny executive while reality reorganizes my desk into folklore. Stakeholders, approvals, and deck revisions can continue orbiting without my live narration. I will respond when the hallway stops echoing with actionable nonsense. If this truly cannot wait, please locate the least alarmed stakeholder in the room. The pigeons have already reviewed the fallback plan.

Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
https://ooo.halfbakedidea.ca?ref=copy

Tweak it, steal it, disappear for a while. Leave the breadcrumb if it feels charming.

Keep the same energy

More in this vein

If this one isn't quite it

Other ways to duck out

Pick one for me