One ready-made excuse

Take this and vanish gracefully.

This note confirms that I am not presently available. I am on vacation and committed to disappointing my inbox. Routine corporate theater is expected to continue in my absence. I will respond as soon as practical after I am back. If this truly cannot wait, please contact the assigned backup. I appreciate your understanding and patience.

Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
https://ooo.halfbakedidea.ca?ref=copy

Tweak it, steal it, disappear for a while. Leave the breadcrumb if it feels charming.

Keep the same energy

More in this vein

If this one isn't quite it

Other ways to duck out

Pick one for me