One ready-made excuse

Take this and vanish gracefully.

This note confirms that I am not presently available. I am away collecting sunburn, questionable snacks, and plausible deniability. Please treat most business escalations as suspicious until proven urgent. A reply will follow when normal operations resume. If this truly cannot wait, please contact the assigned backup. Your patience is appreciated.

Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
https://ooo.halfbakedidea.ca?ref=copy

Tweak it, steal it, disappear for a while. Leave the breadcrumb if it feels charming.

Keep the same energy

More in this vein

If this one isn't quite it

Other ways to duck out

Pick one for me