One ready-made excuse

Take this and vanish gracefully.

Thank you for your message. I am away collecting sunburn, questionable snacks, and plausible deniability. The slide deck will remain exactly as dramatic as I left it. A reply will follow when normal operations resume. For urgent issues, contact the team lead or whichever vice president loves escalation the most. I appreciate your patience.

Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
https://ooo.halfbakedidea.ca?ref=copy

Tweak it, steal it, disappear for a while. Leave the breadcrumb if it feels charming.

Keep the same energy

More in this vein

If this one isn't quite it

Other ways to duck out

Pick one for me