One ready-made excuse
Take this and vanish gracefully.
I am out for parental leave under the governance of a tiny executive and one more notification may cause a dramatic weather event. Deploys, bugs, and incident chatter belong with the on-call humans, not my absence. I will answer once I have finished fistfighting the timeline and won enough to type. If something is actually burning, page the on-call team before emailing the void again. Do not improvise a sixth emergency just because mine looks entertaining.
Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
https://ooo.halfbakedidea.ca?ref=copy
Tweak it, steal it, disappear for a while. Leave the breadcrumb if it feels charming.
Keep the same energy
More in this vein
If this one isn't quite it
Other ways to duck out
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