One ready-made excuse

Take this and vanish gracefully.

I am currently out of the office. I am spending leave days nowhere near a laptop charger. Budget drama, calendar gymnastics, and status updates may proceed without me. I will get back to you once I return and can review this properly. If something is genuinely urgent, please reach out to your usual internal contact. Many thanks for your patience.

Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
https://ooo.halfbakedidea.ca?ref=copy

Tweak it, steal it, disappear for a while. Leave the breadcrumb if it feels charming.

Keep the same energy

More in this vein

If this one isn't quite it

Other ways to duck out

Pick one for me