One ready-made excuse

Take this and vanish gracefully.

I am currently out of the office. I am away collecting sunburn, questionable snacks, and plausible deniability. Quarterly urgency remains quarterly urgency without my narration. A reply will follow when normal operations resume. If something is genuinely urgent, please reach out to your usual internal contact. Thank you for your consideration.

Professionally ignoring you with the help of Half Baked Out of Office
https://ooo.halfbakedidea.ca?ref=copy

Tweak it, steal it, disappear for a while. Leave the breadcrumb if it feels charming.

Keep the same energy

More in this vein

If this one isn't quite it

Other ways to duck out

Pick one for me