Take this and vanish gracefully.

I am away for conference duty inside a lanyard-heavy networking habitat while reality reorganizes my desk into folklore. Invoices, scope creep, and any so-called quick tweak can wait until I resurface. I will respond when the hallway stops echoing with actionable nonsense. If this is genuinely urgent, send one clear note through the agreed emergency channel. The pigeons have already reviewed the fallback plan.