Random

A chosen mood

Tech messages

414 excuses with this particular flavor of bad timing.

See everything instead

Your email hit during a routine stretch away from the desk and its need…

Your email hit during a routine stretch away from the desk and its needy little notifications, which is bold considering the state of the universe. The codebase may continue emitt…

Open full excuse

I am out for a general absence that does not require a dramatic press r…

I am out for a general absence that does not require a dramatic press release and one more notification may cause a dramatic weather event. Deploys, bugs, and incident chatter bel…

Open full excuse

Your email hit during event travel while keynote optimism drains my bat…

Your email hit during event travel while keynote optimism drains my battery, which is bold considering the state of the universe. The codebase may continue emitting alerts without…

Open full excuse

I am out for conference duty inside a lanyard-heavy networking habitat…

I am out for conference duty inside a lanyard-heavy networking habitat and one more notification may cause a dramatic weather event. Deploys, bugs, and incident chatter belong wit…

Open full excuse

Your email hit during recovery time because my bandwidth finally filed…

Your email hit during recovery time because my bandwidth finally filed formal paperwork, which is bold considering the state of the universe. The codebase may continue emitting al…

Open full excuse

I am out for burnout leave while I rebuild my last functioning nerve an…

I am out for burnout leave while I rebuild my last functioning nerve and one more notification may cause a dramatic weather event. Deploys, bugs, and incident chatter belong with…

Open full excuse

Your email hit during family leave while a very small manager runs the…

Your email hit during family leave while a very small manager runs the schedule, which is bold considering the state of the universe. The codebase may continue emitting alerts wit…

Open full excuse

I am out for parental leave under the governance of a tiny executive an…

I am out for parental leave under the governance of a tiny executive and one more notification may cause a dramatic weather event. Deploys, bugs, and incident chatter belong with…

Open full excuse

Your email hit during medical downtime while my immune system handles t…

Your email hit during medical downtime while my immune system handles the stand-up meeting, which is bold considering the state of the universe. The codebase may continue emitting…

Open full excuse

I am out for sick leave and prioritizing recovery over keyboard perform…

I am out for sick leave and prioritizing recovery over keyboard performance and one more notification may cause a dramatic weather event. Deploys, bugs, and incident chatter belon…

Open full excuse

Your email hit during time away and treating my inbox like a beach haza…

Your email hit during time away and treating my inbox like a beach hazard, which is bold considering the state of the universe. The codebase may continue emitting alerts without i…

Open full excuse

I am out for vacation and aggressively protecting my lack of Wi-Fi and…

I am out for vacation and aggressively protecting my lack of Wi-Fi and one more notification may cause a dramatic weather event. Deploys, bugs, and incident chatter belong with th…

Open full excuse

Thank you for your note. I am currently executing a health recovery wor…

Thank you for your note. I am currently executing a health recovery workflow and therefore operating outside standard response bandwidth. Platform reliability surfaces will contin…

Open full excuse

I've wandered away for a general break, And the bug parade can hold the…

I've wandered away for a general break, And the bug parade can hold the fort, while the wallpaper offers advice, I'll answer when I return to the fort, And pretend this delay was…

#absurd #limerick +3 more
Open full excuse

This inbox now weathers a keynote maze, While the deploy chatter can pa…

This inbox now weathers a keynote maze, While the deploy chatter can pace itself, while the moon audits all of my choices, I'll reply on a saner day, When my desk and my judgment…

#absurd #limerick +3 more
Open full excuse

I've wandered away for a lanyard parade, And the bug parade can hold th…

I've wandered away for a lanyard parade, And the bug parade can hold the fort, while the wallpaper offers advice, I'll answer when I return to the fort, And pretend this delay was…

#absurd #limerick +3 more
Open full excuse

This inbox now weathers a bandwidth collapse, While the deploy chatter…

This inbox now weathers a bandwidth collapse, While the deploy chatter can pace itself, while the moon audits all of my choices, I'll reply on a saner day, When my desk and my jud…

#absurd #limerick +3 more
Open full excuse

I've wandered away for a burnout repair, And the bug parade can hold th…

I've wandered away for a burnout repair, And the bug parade can hold the fort, while the wallpaper offers advice, I'll answer when I return to the fort, And pretend this delay was…

#absurd #limerick +3 more
Open full excuse

This inbox now weathers a nursery uprising, While the deploy chatter ca…

This inbox now weathers a nursery uprising, While the deploy chatter can pace itself, while the moon audits all of my choices, I'll reply on a saner day, When my desk and my judgm…

#absurd #limerick +3 more
Open full excuse

I've wandered away for a baby-run state, And the bug parade can hold th…

I've wandered away for a baby-run state, And the bug parade can hold the fort, while the wallpaper offers advice, I'll answer when I return to the fort, And pretend this delay was…

#absurd #limerick +3 more
Open full excuse

This inbox now weathers a feverish retreat, While the deploy chatter ca…

This inbox now weathers a feverish retreat, While the deploy chatter can pace itself, while the moon audits all of my choices, I'll reply on a saner day, When my desk and my judgm…

#absurd #limerick +3 more
Open full excuse

I've wandered away for a medicinal haze, And the bug parade can hold th…

I've wandered away for a medicinal haze, And the bug parade can hold the fort, while the wallpaper offers advice, I'll answer when I return to the fort, And pretend this delay was…

#absurd #limerick +3 more
Open full excuse

This inbox now weathers a holiday detour, While the deploy chatter can…

This inbox now weathers a holiday detour, While the deploy chatter can pace itself, while the moon audits all of my choices, I'll reply on a saner day, When my desk and my judgmen…

#absurd #limerick +3 more
Open full excuse